As of yesterday I've decided someone needs to open an ADULTS ONLY restaurant. I think it's the best idea in the world. Maybe even the universe. It's not that I don't like kids, because I do. Kinda. But we obviously don't take our kids with us when we go to a fancy restaurant, so I get extremely aggravated when other people do and I have to listen to them.
For instance, yesterday we went to a nice restaurant for lunch where the average price of an entree is $20. We were seated right next to a couple with small children. I immediately asked to be moved. But I didn't want to be rude, so I asked for something a little more secluded instead of saying, "Look bitch, do you see me here with kids? No? Well I don't want to be seated next to any bratty little shits, so move me." We were then seated in a corner.... surrounded by two more families with small children and babies. Some of which were screaming. At that point we paid the $6 dollars for our sodas (yes, $6 for sodas... before the tip) and we left.
My question to parents is this: WHY bring your kids to an expensive restaurant? What is the point?! Sure, I know you want a nice meal, I can understand that because sometimes I do too. But how about waiting until you have a sitter so the rest of us can dine in peace?! Until then, maybe you should take your grubby, squalling spawn to McDonald's, or hell even Denny's if you're feeling fancy... because really, they can't even eat a $30 piece of prime rib, and even if they could they wouldn't appreciate it like they would a chicken mcnugget. And sure, I understand that there are going to be kids at McDonald's, IHOP, Applebees, or the like... but not at a fancy steak house or high class sushi joint. I love my kids with all of my heart, but when they were noisy little babies and kids, we left their asses at home when we went out to a fine dining establishment, because babies/kids simply don't belong there.
Don't have access to a sitter? Too bad, that shouldn't be everyone elses problem. Make it carry out if you're just craving good food that bad... put your kids to bed and have some romantic time in your dining room. But don't subject everyone else to your kids, because all those sounds you think are so sweet and cute... all those whines, cries and screams you've grown accustomed to and are able to drown out? Well they just get on everyone elses 'effing nerves and ruin our perfectly good dining experience. So yes, I propose that someone come up with an adults only restaurant: Ban small children and babies... at the very least make it to where no one under 13 is allowed (<--and if they act bad, boot them out too). I know the mere thought of that would make some parents very angry, but I really don't care. I'm a parent that likes my adult time.
(Love this place, kids don't. Keep them out.)
Photograph by: Me