I crossed the wide road toward the sand. It had gotten later in the day, the sun barely in the sky, with wispy clouds casting a cool lavender tinge over everything. I spotted a group of familiar people sitting on a boardwalk to my right and so I started toward them. I had felt so lost since I left the van and the sight of familiar people calmed me. As I walked toward them, I noticed him. The tall, lanky frame topped with a mop of straight black hair, seated slightly hunched over on a step. Him. I knew I was going to sit by him. He turned around as I approached and smiled radiantly, murky green eyes lighting up brighter and brighter the closer I got, his thin lips curving up deliciously at the corners in a welcoming smile. But it was his nose, of all things, that made his already attractive face pop. It was completely straight and perfectly angled. I smiled back and sat down next to him.
I knew I knew these people, I just didn't know how or where or why. I couldn't remember why I had even come to the beach in the first place. Why was I here anyway? I sat quietly, trying to remember. He turned to me then. "Would you like some?" he asked. He held a joint up to me and smiled again, this time not so dazzling... more of a sly smile that was trying to tell me a secret. "Sure" I said as I took it from his fingers. Without a thought I brought it up to my lips and inhaled deeply. It hit me immediately and I felt as if I was floating or spinning or a combination of both. I exhaled and turned to hand it to the girl sitting to my right, but in my dizzy state turned to my left instead. I found him staring directly at me.
He leaned in toward me, and my eyes widened... startled, I froze. "Shotgun." he said with a low chuckle, and I relaxed. His face grew closer and I could feel the heat of his skin and the low pulse of... what was it? electricity? emanating from him. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, his lips pressed softly on mine and he exhaled, blowing the smoke directly into my waiting mouth. I inhaled, hesitantly at first. And then with something close to wild abandon, I pressed my lips against his, hard, and sucked the air from him. I wanted the smoke and I wanted his breath. I wanted him. I drank him in, taking deep pulls of his breath, not stopping to exhale. Devouring, drinking, sucking, taking... until the sound of him gasping and choking brought me to my senses. I was sucking the life out of him. But still neither of us moved to break away from the other. I smiled then, knowing that he'd let me go on and on until he fainted, so I relinquished him... but only just a bit. My lips still pressed firmly to his, I exhaled out of the upturned corner of my mouth, giving him an opportunity to do the opposite: breath. Our lips continued to explore one another, softly and delicately, as if they were asking permission. No tongue, nothing forced... just soft lips pressed against soft lips answering 'yes' repeatedly and in unison. It was nothing short of divine. We broke away and locked eyes, lost in the awe of what had just happened. The weed combined with the other worldliness of that kiss proved to be a heady combination, and my senses were reeling. Nothing made sense, time moved at a snails pace, colors were too vivid, and everything seemed surreal. It was all too strange, even more so than it had been when I arrived here, which was odd, because I still couldn't remember why I was here. Who were these people?? They all seemed so familiar, especially him; but I couldn't place them...
A flutter of movement caught the corner of my eye and I glanced up... and into the faces of my children: eyes the size of saucers, bodies frozen in a state of shock. "Mommy, what are you doing? Why are you kissing that man?" my little daughter finally asked me. My eldest son stood silent, glaring at me. My middle son stood in between the other two, wordless and in shock. I looked down and saw the joint, still in my hand. I tossed it on the ground at my feet, shook my head, and in an instant I was sobered to the depths of my core.... Holy fuck. I was with my family. We came to the beach together. They dropped me off to find a good spot before it got crowded. They were going to meet me on the beach.
What had happened to me?
"Where is your father? Did he see me?" I asked my middle son, my voice plagued with urgency. I knew in my heart that he had seen me. And him... together. My middle child did not speak, but continued to stare at me, large blue eyes confused and bewildered, his mouth slightly agape. "Where did he go??" I demanded, no longer urgent, now frightened and desperate. "He went that way" my child replied and pointed down the beach. With no thought to anything other than my husband I jumped up and half ran, half stumbled down the beach. Running and running, tripping over the sand and my own feet as I went... I turned back once to see him still sitting, turned my way, watching me as I ran away, with a sad smile plastered on his face. I turned back around, still running wildly, and fell headlong into darkness. Tumbling, falling, reeling.... And just before the bottom fell out, or before I hit the bottom.... I woke up.
Ah... So it was a dream. Sometimes I wish they weren't so damn vivid.
(Burn, Baby, Burn)
Photograph By: This Dreamer