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Human, Woman, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend & Aspiring Unicorn Breeder


...I Probably Think This Song Is About Me!

I think I've finally found my motivation for eating better & going to the gym on a regular basis. Vanity. Isn't that horrible?

The Hubby and I have been reading a book called "Younger Next Year." The premise of the book is as follows: We've evolved over a gazillion years to function a certain way and in the last 100 years or so we've deviated from that and now our bodies are going to hell in a hand basket because of it. The book says we need to work out, hard-core, at least an hour a day, a minimum of 6 days a week. We aren't supposed to eat processed, crap food. We need to be friends with vegetables and eat lots of them, along with lean proteins. It also says we're pack animals and need to maintain positive relationships to stay vibrant & healthy. It doesn't really focus on losing weight as much as it focuses on being and staying healthy into old age. Makes perfect sense to me.

Anyway, back to my vain little self, (of course).... I tried botox for the first time a couple of weeks ago. After I had it done I freaked out a lot little at the thought of having a deadly poison injected into my face. But after the results kicked in the deadly poison bothered me way less than the wrinkle-less forehead made me happy. Make sense? However, I can't botox my entire body into looking younger, (I'm pretty sure I'd be paralyzed if I did). And I don't want a lovely, smooth head sitting on an obese, wrinkly body. That just will not do. So I have to go to the gym. I have to. It's not a question of whether I feel up to it or not anymore. I have to look good; I have to feel good. So off to the gym I go. Every. Single. Day. (Except the occasional Sunday... Hey, God did say to take one day off to rest, right?!)

I've got the relationships thing down. My Hubby is my absolute best friend in the universe and we make sure we make time for one another as often as possible. I take at least one day a week to just hang out with my teenagers and really talk to them about their lives. I've got several good friends that I get out and about with on a fairly regular basis. I volunteer my time to BBBS which brings me, and my little, a lot of joy. I started a book club to expand my brain & socialize. I have a zoo bunch of animals that I dote on and in return they lower my blood pressure and reduce my stress levels, (or so I've read). So I think I'm all good in that department.

Ughhh... but the whole food thing... I have this lovelovelove-hate relationship with food. I love, love, love it! But I freaking hate how it makes me look and feel after I've consumed ridiculous amounts of it. Which is what I always tend to do, overindulge. So I'm trying to think of food as fuel, instead of the wonderfully orgasmic delight that it is. In other words: Eat what will make my body run better. Eat what will make my body look better. Don't overfill the tank. Don't underfill the tank. Find out the optimum amount of fuel I need to make my body run at it's peak performance. You have no idea how hard it is to do this!! And how utterly boring the food is when you're used to rich decadent sauce-laden nibbly things.... Sheesh! But again, this time I have vanity on my side. I didn't have that before. And that is a seriously powerful motivator for me. It took me aging a bit to finally take the reigns and say "Fuck this! I am not letting myself look like an old hag without a fight!" And I'm not. I refuse. So here I am... vain and determined. A deadly combo for that horrid aging process. But a damn good combo to keep me looking fantabulous and feeling healthy for a long, long while!

©Flippa Bird
(Gonna Look Like a Stripper... I'm Kidding)
Photo By: My Cousin L

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