I am, at heart, a survivalist. I've had to be. I've learned through other's actions that I’m the only one who’ll take care of me. Sure, people wax poetic about how they'll always be there for you, and they will be... until it gets too difficult or they have better things to do. The only true exceptions I've found to this are my Mother and Husband. But everyone else? They're so very quick to condemn you for not swooping in to rescue them from the bad situations that they've gotten themselves into, when they themselves wouldn't do the same for you.
You got into debt? Get yourself out of it. You drank yourself blind? Deal with the consequences. You got hooked on pills? Go to rehab. You're stuck in a bad relationship? Get out of it.
I'm a friend, not a fairy godmother. You're a grownup capable of making your own decisions; you’re capable of dealing with the aftermath. So suck it up when you fuck it up. That's what I've had to do.
That's why I won't tell you that I'll always be there for you. I'll tell you that in order to survive I will look out for me and mine, and if I can help you I will do so to the best of my ability. The only caveat being that it doesn't affect me negatively. That's not to say I don't care about the wellbeing of others, because I do. However, when it comes down to it, sometimes I simply care about me more. No, no... I'm not heartless. I'm just honest. I will take a bullet for any child. I’ll jump in front of a train for my husband. I’ll gladly give my last dollar to my mother. I’ll give up any excess in my life to help a person truly in need. I’ll offer moral support to anyone who needs it and I’ll keep a secret forever. That's about it. And I make no qualms about it.
(Honesty means I love you; indifference means I don't care)
Pic By: Me
This weeks word is BLIND