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Human, Woman, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend & Aspiring Unicorn Breeder


Hey... Guess What? Fuck This

Have you ever worked for a company that was so incompetent, so unprofessional, so... well just so damn awful that you simply couldn't tolerate another second and you quit? And have you ever been in a position where you could tell them exactly what you thought of them before you quit? Well I have and I did and lemme tell ya, it's exhilerating. I feel like Robin Hood or something.

Here's the story: Hubby and I set some financial goals for ourselves and so I found myself a customer sales & service job where I could work from home, not as an independent contractor, but as an actual employee. It seemed like a dream job. Ok, so the pay completely sucked, but there would be no commute, I could work in my jammies, and I'd still be home with the kids. It was perfect... In theory.

And then I started the job.

On the first day our trainer simply didn't show. We sat on the phones for over 2 hours waiting and waiting... and waiting. Someone from another department finally showed up to train us. Someone who had absolutely no experience or knowledge in and of the department we'd be working in. So to make a long story short, we were taught absolutely nothing that would be even remotely relevant to what we'd be doing. Our training was then cut short by 2 weeks. So we were thrown to the wolves with no knowledge whatsoever of how to operate the systems we would need to do our jobs. In fact, we weren't even aware that half the systems we needed even existed, because we were never told about them. Half of us couldn't get the systems to work, the other half had issues with being given incorrect user names and/or passwords. But we were told to get on the phones anyway. So those of us who could did. It was a total fucking disaster.

And then they screwed up our paychecks. They shorted us on hours and pay and even forgot to send some of us our paychecks. We were told we'd have to wait 2 weeks for our shorted pay to be fixed, which by the way, is a federal crime. They made us pay $100 (as a payroll deduction) for headsets that retail for under $60 elsewhere. Oh yes, we were forced to purchase the headsets from them as a condition of employment. We were also told that we had to have a home land line. Some people didn't have them and had to spend $100+ having them installed... only to be told 1 week into training that they weren't actually needed at all. We were told repeatedly that we'd only have to work one weekend day a week. A lot of people were scheduled both days. We were told the hours we'd be scheduled would fall within the times we listed which we could work. Most of us were given earlier and later hours or more hours than we had signed up for. Our personal information was blabbed to everyone on the first day of class because the trainer thought it was easier for her to just verify it out loud than to type it in a private chat. So home addresses, home phone numbers, and home email addresses were divulged to everyone in the class... even though we went over a training module which stated that the sharing of personal information to other employees by management is strictly forbidden.

We were all to be assigned a team leader (basically a manager) who we'd be working under.That team leader was supposed to send us a welcome email letting us know what chat rooms we'd need to be in and outlining what would be expected of us. Any shift concerns, customer concerns, job related questions, help & assistance, etc, etc were to be handled through that person. A lot of us never heard from our team leaders or even knew who they was supposed to be. I emailed mine several times and never heard from her.

I was supposed to start, with absolutely no assistance, tomorrow. But hey... guess what? Fuck that. Which is, by the way, how I titled my resignation email. Yep, I sent a resignation email... to the entire organization. An email that voiced exactly how every single new hire employee feels right now. Was it polite and eloquent? Nope. It was pretty crass, very classless, and not at all professional. But this company has been so ridiculously unprofessional that I figured they deserved no less from me. I thought my email was lost forever as they blocked me from the systems not even 10 minutes after I sent it and it's an intra-email system, so you can't forward email outside of the network anyway. But a coworker took a picture of it and forwarded it to me (thanking me as well)... and to everyone else (again). So I'm including it at the bottom of this post for your viewing pleasure.

I've gotten quite a few responses to my personal email address thanking me for saying what needed to be said and for saying what everyone else wanted to say but couldn't; because even as shitty as it is, they need a job. Ah yes, I feel kinda like Robin Hood right about now. So here's a big fuck you to you Teletech @Home. You're the worst company in the history of the world and I hope you lose every single contract you have and go down in flames. Peace out corporate bitches!

©Flippa Bird
Click on the pics to read them.
(Maybe things will change for the ones who stayed...)
Photo By: An Unnamed Former Coworker


Ani L'Dodi v'Dodi Li

My Love,

Today we have been married 5,842 days. Tomorrow we will be married 5,843 days... or 16 years. Not generally a year that's considered a major milestone requiring a big celebration. Starting with the 5th year and counting forward in fives... those are all considered a big deal. But in between those time periods? Well, no one really even mentions those. The 16th year of marriage? So what. Who cares.

I do.

I care about all of our anniversaries immensely. In fact, to me, every single second of every single day is a cause for celebration. And every day that passes is an even bigger reason to celebrate than the day before. You honor me daily just by being my Husband.... because you, such an honorable man, chose me to be your wife. You continue to honor me by loving me so perfectly and so fully at all times. You have made me feel worthy with the great love you have shown me.

I love you.

When I walked down the aisle, those many years ago, I was so scared. I was terrified that you'd be just another person to screw up my world and leave me alone in shambles. I was so scared, in fact, that I did everything imaginable to drive you away. A lesser man would have left many times over. Even a great man would have run far, far away. But not you. You showed me the true meaning of for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health... till death do us part.

I adore you.

It took a little while, but you managed to capture all of my senses... the sound of your voice moves me, the touch of your hand melts me, the smell of your skin comforts me, the taste of your lips intoxicates me, and the mere sight of you lights up my very soul. You see flaws in your physical self, but to me they aren't flaws, they're perfection. I am completely and utterly enthralled with every little thing about you.

I need you.

You've calmed the storms inside of me and brought out the fire in me. You've taught me peace, patience, and kindness, virtues fairly unknown to me until I met you. Not only have you seen me into womanhood, but you've shown me how to be a lady... just by being a gentleman. You've walked through tangled forests and shaded valleys with me and rested with me on quiet mountain tops. You've carried me, dragged me, and walked beside me throughout our life together.

I thank you.

I know that today isn't considered a special day and tomorrow is no milestone, but I want you to know that every day of my life with you is spectacular and worth celebrating... anniversary, milestone, or just another Thursday. It doesn't matter. I told you I do 5,842 days ago and I still do: I love you, I adore you, I need you, I thank you. For everything. Forever.


 אני לדודי ודודי לי


Spoiled Brats.

I'm going to share something very personal today. I'm not venting and I'm not looking for pity. I'm sharing this as a warning to other parents out there. You may think this will never happen to you, but the most important thing I've learned in my 17 years of parenting is this: Never Say Never. Don't you love how we parents say that, "I would never blah blah blah..."  But as a parent all you can do is the best you can... and you will  inevitably fuck up. Oh yes, you will certainly do one of those things you said you'd never do. It happens to us all, no matter how hard we try. In the end our children are their own people; so at some point it's not on you anymore, it's on them. But you never stop trying to guide them in the right direction. Anyway, here goes...

I had to do something this morning that upset me very badly. I had to have a chat with my daughter and let her know that she would not be having the big fancy birthday party we've been planning for a month and that there would also be no presents for her. I'd like to say there was a financial issue behind this decision, but there's not. Not to down play financial issues, because we've been in dire straights before financially. The reason why is so, so much worse as far as I'm concerned. The reason she gets nothing this year is because my daughter has become a spoiled brat. So there will be no big fancy party. In fact there will be no party at all and the money we would have spent on presents for her will be going to a shelter where it will be appreciated. And she will be the one to deliver it.

Now before I get called too strict, or mean, or abusive, or a bad mom, or anything else I'd like to say this: When I told her of our decision I was met with the response of "what evs" which solidly reinforced my decision.

I know I'm partly to blame for this little monster I've created. I grew up wanting, so I've made sure that she and her brothers have never wanted for anything. I love to dote on my children. It makes me happy to give them the things I never got. Well, in the process I've over compensated.

I rolled my eyes when my Husband said it's ridiculous for a 12 year old to have a Coach purse. She's had two. I reasoned with him that she can't  get her school clothes at Target or Wal-Mart, because like she said yes  she does  need designer name brand clothes so she doesn't get picked on in school... like I did for wearing thrift store clothes. She's been treated to things like Starbucks, nice vacations, fancy restaurants, and boutique cupcakes on a regular basis her entire life. I've gifted her things that I never got the opportunity to have, like an assortment of gold and gemstone earrings and even a real sapphire ring... she's lost them all. When we bought the kids cell phones, hers had  to have a touch screen. When she decided that wasn't good enough and she wanted an iPhone, she conveniently "lost" it. When we replaced it with an old very indestructible phone we had, (which she was not  happy about), she somehow managed to break it... and then asked for an iPhone again. When she has sleepovers, I make huge baskets filled with goodies for her and her friends. She complains and pouts that I don't get the right candy & soft drinks.

She complains that we're poor, complains that we don't do more for her, complains that she's the poor kid in school, complains that she doesn't have enough, complains that what we do get her is cheap... We are very blessed and far from poor. Our income is in the 6 figures and she's always had whatever she's needed and most of what she's wanted (within and even above reason... but a 12 year old doesn't need an iPhone). She even complains that her dad needs to dress better because he "looks poor" in his holy jeans and that "it's embarrassing." My husband, her father, breaks his back supporting us and goes to school on top of that. He gives up so  much for our kids. It's times like that when I want to slap her across the face.

For her birthday we planned a huge sleepover with her friends (which she initially complained about). I order fancy custom invitations, (which she initially complained about). I gave her a limit of 10 friends (which she initially complained about). She wanted a limo to pick them up from school. When I told her not only no, but hell no, she pouted and argued until I fianlly showed her how much it actually costs for one (over $500). She wanted a fancy dinner party with expensive matching dinnerware and a pinata the size of a person. When I told her we could do a fancy homemade  dinner party and go to Party City to get nice plastic ware, she pouted, cried, and argued. Finger foods weren't good enough; she wanted an appetizer station. Steak and chicken weren't good enough; she wanted shrimp & salmon too. A birthday cake wasn't good enough; she wanted a dessert tower. But the icing on the ever growing shit-cake was her gift. She wanted an iPhone (fuck no) or an iPad tablet, so I told her we could get her a Kindle Fire (which is above the $100 limit we set for birthdays). She looked at me in disgust and said that's not what she wants, she would hate it, and why wouldn't we get her what she really wanted since it's her birthday and her present.

So there we have it. I have a limit and it's finally been reached. She gets nothing. She is going to learn a much needed lesson in charity, graciousness, and humility. Even if it hurts her (and me) to do so.

In her defense, we did this. It's our fault she is the way she is (mostly mine to be honest). And I also must say that beyond the spoiled part of her she is a good, good girl. She makes good grades, she stays out of trouble, she loves us, and she can be very sweet, kind & caring. She's just ridiculously spoiled. But also, in our defense, our boys have been treated and raised the same way and don't act this way. So maybe it's just the luck of the draw when it comes to kids. Who knows. But I do know that this crap ends today.

Good luck to the rest of you parents out there. You'll need it.

©Flippa Bird
(These will make nice fire kindling, I guess.)
Photo By: Crappy Instagram & Me


On Being Selfless (which I'm not very good at)

I read the Bible and ponder on things a lot. One thing that's really been on my mind lately is being selfless. I'm going to start off by telling you straight up that I'm extremely selfish. I actively work on this ginormous flaw in myself, but sometimes it's hard. Especially when you're wired that way. It wasn't until I had children that I even grasped the concept of selflessness. And It wasn't until I started studying my Bible that I understood it's impact on the world around me... even though I grew up surrounded by it.

My mom, for example, is the most selfless person I know. When my dad booted me out of the house at 15 I stayed with her for a couple of years until I moved out on my own. We were very poor and lived in a single-wide trailer in the middle of bum-fuck. Anyway, being a teenager I wanted to go out and do things with my friends. I wanted to have and wear cool things. Most of the time cool things just weren't possible. But...

My mom always kept a change jar. If you've ever been poor you know just how vital a change jar is. That $4.32 in pennies can be the difference between eating for a week (hey, ramen is cheap) or starving. It can be the difference between driving or walking. So she kept this change jar, and whenever I needed anything and she had no money, which was often, she would pull it out. We'd sit on the floor sorting and wrapping. Sometimes, if we were lucky, we'd spend an hour rolling up those pennies, nickles, dimes (and sometimes quarters). It wouldn't matter if she went hungry so I could eat or if she had to wear the bra with the broken strap so I didn't look like the poor kid. It wouldn't matter if she had to give up her personal neccessities to ensure that I had those little frivolities that teenagers think they need (like door money for a club). She happily gave me whatever she had to ensure that I was content and taken care of.

She. Was. Selfless.

Not only was she selfless, she was a farmer of sorts. She planted a seed within me. A seed that grew when I had kids and had to pull out my change jar for them. A seed that blossomed when I started reading my Bible. I wonder how many people like me are out there. I guess some of us just need that swift kick in the ass that having children provides ~ (and hopefully most of us are lucky enough to have mothers like mine). Now when I see someone in need I'm more & more like my mother and less & less like me. Which is an awesome thing! Because of her, my children, and the lessons I've learned from the Bible I'm more apt to feel grateful that I have something to share, (and not grumble about it), even when that something is all that I have.

© Flippa Bird
(Plant a seed & watch it grow.)
Photo By: Me