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Human, Woman, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend & Aspiring Unicorn Breeder




He is a lifeless plot.
Craving bright blooms of sunshine, he finds nothing but dead earth within himself.

He plucks flora from his bouquet of acquaintances - a wilted lily, a spotted daisy, a faded rose - and tries desperately to root happiness back into their broken stems.

He thinks, subconsciously perhaps, that he can cultivate a great garden from their revival.

But it's not to be.
He's no botaniste.
He can't even grow himself.

Photograph By: Me
The challenge word: Pluck
K: (transitive verb) 1: to pull or pick off or out 2 a : to remove something (as hairs) from by or as if by plucking    b : rob, fleece 3: to move, remove, or separate forcibly or abruptly 4 a : to pick, pull, or grasp at    b : to play by sounding the strings with the fingers or a pick.


Just Be Grateful.

I'm getting on a soap box. I'm sorry... I just have to. For the people I care about who happen to live in nice homes and drive nice cars and make good money, I'm getting on my soap box for you.

Let me start by saying: I'm so very grateful for what I have.

I don't want what other people have and I'm not aspiring for anything other than my own dreams. I have food, clothing, shelter, and good health, which is so much more than the majority of people in this world have!! So it floors me to hear other folks, who have the very same blessings that I have, say things like, "If I had that  *that being something that belongs to someone else*  I'd be more appreciative of it than they are." As if someone who lives in a bigger home or drives a fancier car isn't appreciative or doesn't realize what they have. As if they somehow didn't work for it and it magically fell into their lap. As if...

This kind of thinking really pisses me off.

Here is what I know: I know people who have WAY more than I have. They in fancy custom built homes, they drive cars that cost as much as a house, they have dream jobs, they go on vacations most of us will never go on, they have more money saved in the bank than the average person makes in 5 years.... and they are among the most grateful people I know.

The majority of them have workedworkedworked and/or savedsavedsaved to be able to live the lifestyles they have. All of them have expressed many, many times how fortunate, grateful, and blessed they are. Not in a bragging way, but in a truly humble way. They know how good they have it and they are thankful for it.

Every single one of the people I know who've achieved this level of comfort in their lives come from humble beginnings. There were no silver spoons in their mouths at birth; they forged their own silver spoons with hard work and determination.

Some of them used outhouses growing up, some only ate as much food as the monthly food stamps would buy, some had no running water, and some had an unstable home life. Some were raised in middle class homes but had to pay their own way the day they turned 18. Some had many years of ho-hum lives while in pursuit of their gigantic sparkly dreams. But they all have this in common: They've always been grateful for what they did have and if they wanted more, then they worked really hard for it.

So when I hear  "If I had that I'd be more appreciative of it than they are"  I laugh. Because I know that those folks wouldn't be even remotely appreciative... no one with an attitude of entitlement ever is. Also it's difficult to truly appreciate something you didn't work for - that's why the majority of lotto winners end up broke. No, there would be no gratefulness because  how can you be grateful for the big things when you're not even grateful for what you have now?  And don't say you're're not honestly grateful for what you currently have if you're worried that you'd be more grateful with someone else's crap. 

In the same way that you shouldn't judge a shabby book by it's cover, you shouldn't judge a sparkly one by it's cover either. Moral of the story: Be thankful for the abundant blessings in your own life and if you want more then get off your ass and work for it.

I dream of being a photographer...
 But for now I'm content to...
Snap the skies with my cell phone.
Pictures By: Me


Bill Fiasco!

Life is hectic. Sometimes it's just so darn hectic that when your monthly bills come in you just pay them without even looking over them... or they're automatically deducted, so you don't really realize what's going on. But I'm here to warn y'all: Pay Attention!!

Scenario #Uno: Our cell phone bill came in yesterday and it was a few hundred dollars slightly higher than normal. My penny pinching husband  - who handles all the bills because I'm horrible at it - was not a happy camper. Being the super busy student-husband-employee-superman that he is, I told him I'd take care of it (much to our phone company's displeasure, I'm sure). So I called and bitched and was generally a horrible customer and sure enough they had gotten our bill wrong. They assured me it would be fixed and even gave me a credit. Oh, did I mention that I've had to call in once a month, every month, since we got the service to have them correct mistakes?

Scenario #Dos: Our gym payment has seemed high the past several months, but every time I've called inquiring about it they've assured me nothing was wrong. I finally decided to speak to someone in person yesterday after my workout, because I actually had time to do so. Anyway I stood there sweating & stinking (which I think helped me in this case) and insisted that they dig into my account to find out what the issue was. First one person helped, then another, and another... until three spandex-clad muscly people were trying to figure it all out. They eventually discovered that they had been charging us for an account that had been closed.... for the past 6 months. So I got credited for 6 months worth of service. Oh, and did I mention that this is the second time they've done that? Except last time they double charged us for 10 month worth of service. 

So beware, folks. Check your bills. And does anyone have any cell phone or gym recommendations?! Sheesh!!!

That's right, I'm watching everything.
I know what you did too, you naughty little animals.
Pic By: Me


Fairy Tales & Such.

One spring, many year ago, two women on opposite sides of the country discovered they were pregnant. Nine months after the first woman discovered she was with child she gave birth to a quiet baby boy. Exactly twenty-five days later the second woman gave birth to a girl. This baby girl, quite impatient and knowing that something was out there waiting for her, came into the world exactly 25 days early.

The babies grew into children, and as they grew their lives followed distinctly non-parallel paths. The boy moved from place to place to place, (much like a winding river), and as such never felt at home anywhere he lived. The girl lived in the same exact place, surrounded by the same exact people, (much like stagnant air), and knew that there was something out there for her that was not of her place. The boy grew up in peace and harmony. The girl grew up in discord and strife. Two paths, running in two completely different directions, destined never to meet.


One day the boys parents decided to move again. This time they moved farther away than they'd ever gone before. This time they moved across the country. This time fate picked up the boy and moved him onto the path of the girl. But fate was not ready for them to meet. Not just yet.

So the boy continued to grow into a young man and the girl into a young woman. And still their paths seemed very different. The boy was a clear lake on a cloudless day, peaceful and serene - while the girl was a wild wind, whipping up everything around her. They did not yet know that though their paths appeared different, they were just at different ends, waiting to meet in the middle. And so it went for a little while longer.


With the flick of her wrist, fate decided it was finally time to throw them together. In the middle of that path the wild wind of a girl met the clear lake of a boy and a perfect storm erupted. A squall that rage and raged for years. 

You see, winds change with a frenzy like nothing else on the earth. They can be unstable and destructive - whipping up a tempest on a whim, creating chaos out of nothing more than the jostling of clouds this way and that. But a lake does not move. It never gives way like the ocean does, turning tide for another. It never runs dry like the stream, giving up when the rains aren't enough to fill it. It never branches away like the river does, leaving to forge a new path. The lake always remains, constant and steady and unyielding... even through the pounding of the wind.

However, though their storm was an almost immediate phenomenon, there was a recognition in these two souls; something known to them both in an instant- (perhaps even known on an unconscious level, in their respective wombs, 2000 miles apart, those many years ago) -  for the moment they met the boy knew he had finally found his home in the heart of the girl, and the girl knew she had finally found her heart within the boy.  And so they hung on to that, and it kept them strong through the hardest days and nights, until the wild wind in the girl finally tired and calmed into a peaceful breeze.

For many years now - (almost half of their lives really) - it has been this way: peaceful and calm, like a clear lake on a breezy day. Home was found in the perfect, beautiful union of two very different souls on two very different paths and love everlasting was forged in the heart of a storm.

Oh yes, they lived happily ever after. The end.

It's Been Smooth Sailing, My Friend... Happy (Upcoming) 17th.
Much Love, Your Wife 


Fatty Fatty Bumbelatty!

I told myself I wouldn't blog about this until I reached my goal, but I'm going to blog about it anyway. Partly because I'm feeling frustrated with this. And really because blogging about this gets out my frustrations. And kinda because this might help someone else. So what is this "this" that I speak of anyway?

Weight Loss.

I've been doing Weight Watchers since May 1st of this year (that's 26 weeks, folks) and as of last week's weigh-in I've lost about 24 pounds. So basically I'm not even losing a pound a week. Except that's not exactly true... technically yes, but... I'm one of those people who takes two steps forward and one step back: i.e.  I lose 3 pounds one week & gain 2 the next, lose 4 pounds the week after & gain 1 back, etc, etc. But like that slow, and probably fat, little tortoise I'm still succeeding.

So here's where the little motivational part of my blog kicks in, right?

You know those motivational pics making the rounds on the interwebz... It's a picture of a ridiculously fit, half naked woman  and you wonder where she's hiding her penis and it says "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" OR "Being fat is hard, Maintaining your weight is hard, Getting fit is hard, Pick your hard" or some shit like that.

I hate those. I'm not gonna write any nonsense like that because they don't motivate me in the least.

They don't motivate me because 1. Everything tastes better than being skinny. Literally.Every.Fucking.Thing. I can name a bazillion things: pizza, chocolate, bread, pancakes, wine, pasta, sushi, bacon, anything fried, anything butter-coated, anything not a green smoothie.... yeah, pretty much the only thing that doesn't taste better is those nasty green smoothies that look like Oscar The Grouch's vomit. Which is probably why the people who drink those are skinny... and 2. Being fat isn't hard. It's just not. In fact it is so damn easy to be fat. Seriously. You eat whatever you want and it tastes divine - (way better than skinny, in fact) - and you feel full and content after a good, satisfying meal. It's bliss.

Getting thin (and even maintaining it) is what's hard. It sucks. Weight Watchers has made it much easier than anything else I've tried, but it's still hard. When everyone in your family's each eating 4 pieces of a supreme pizza and washing it down with Coke and you're eating one small slice, a green salad and a water, well, it's just a crappy feeling.

You know what does motivate me though, what keeps me going? Vanity. Yeah, I know that's soooo horrible and shallow. I should say I want to be around a long time for my family, or I want to get healthy, blah, blah, blah. But if I'm being honest with myself I'm motivated by vanity. I wanna wear cute clothes and I wanna head into my 40s looking hot.

I think that's been the key to my slow & steady success: I'm finally being honest with myself and working toward a real & true goal. So I thought I'd share that with anyone out there who's also struggling with their weight. Dig deep and find your motivation. And when you fuck up, which you will - (I went over 80 points this week... hence my frustration) - calm down and realize it's not the end of the world. And don't give up. Don't. Any progress you make, no matter how small, is still progress. And no matter how many little (or big) setbacks you have, if you just keep moving forward then you ARE succeeding. Good luck!

Me @ 197 lbs. (I lost some weight b4 WW)
Fatty, Fatty Bumbelatty!
Pic By: One of My Many Cousins

Me now @ 161 lbs.
Much lighter, but more to go!
Crappy Mirror Pic By: Meh