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Human, Woman, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend & Aspiring Unicorn Breeder

12.24.2013

Deck the Bowl Asparagus Salad

  • I haven't posted a recipe in a while, so I thought I'd share this festive, chilled asparagus dish with you. And this is very tasty, if I do say so myself! My stepmom loved it SO much that she even asked me for the recipe! I kinda lied and told her I got it from one of the food channels on TV since she is big on actual legit recipes - (fyi, I don't generally use or follow recipes, but I love inventing them).
  • Anyway, just ask my poor stepsister why I'd lie... She got reemed this year at our family Christmas for using precut Simply Potatoes in her (delicious) potato casserole - Haha! Well since I've written it down, it's now an actual legit recipe. I hope you enjoy & Merry Christmas!! 

DECK THE BOWL ASPARAGUS SALAD

Veggie Ingredients:
  • Big ol' bowl of ice water
  • Big ol' pot of boiling water
  • Salt to taste
  • 4 bunches of green asparagus - washed & ends trimmed
  • 1 can of sweet corn - drained
  • 2 firm-ish avocados - cubed
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes - halved
 
Dressing Ingredients:
  • 4 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
  • 4 teaspoons of sugar (white or brown, your preference)
  • 1 tablespoon of minced garlic
  • 2 tablespoons of rice wine vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons of creamy Dijon mustard
  • Juice of 2 lemons (OR 6 tablespoons bottled lemon juice)
  • 1 tablespoon of raw local honey
 
Directions:
  • In a large pot, bring water to a boil.
  • Add salt to taste - (you want it to taste a lil' oceany).
  • While you're waiting for the pot to boil, make an ice bath for the asparagus by filling a large bowl with cold water & ice cubes.
  • Before cooking place the asparagus into the ice bath.
  • Remove the asparagus from the ice bath and put them into the boiling water until just bright green (approx. 1-2 minutes).
  • Using a slotted spoon, remove them from the boiling water and immediately put them back into the ice bath.
  • Let them sit in the ice bath for a few minutes to make sure they stop cooking.
  • Remove the asparagus from the ice bath and place them on a paper towel lined dish and allow them to dry COMPLETELY!! You can expedite this by patting them down with a paper towel and putting them, uncovered, in the refrigerator for a bit.
  • While the asparagus is drying, mix together the dressing ingredients, making sure to integrate everything well.  
  • Once the asparagus is completely dry, cut the stalks into thirds.
  • Toss the asparagus and remaining vegetables with the dressing in a large bowl, making sure everything is evenly coated.
  • Cover and chill in the refrigerator for at least an hour, and up to 24 hours.
  • Serve chilled - Eat & ENJOY! :)

Recipe & Pic by: Me

12.23.2013

The Christmas Story

Today I would like to share, directly from my Bible, the story of the birth of Jesus.

Some of you 1. may view this as complete fiction, 2. be on the fence about it, and 3. may believe it 100%.
If you are of the first group, I pray that you will be able to read this with an open heart & mind.
If you are of the second group, I pray that God will open your heart & mind to better understanding.
If you are of the third group I pray that God will show you something you missed before.
Amen.

Ok, let's start off with Isaiah 7:14. This was prophesized  hundreds of years before the birth of Jesus:

Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: the virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. (Immanuel translates to: God is with us)

Now onto the conception of Jesus in Matthew 1:18-25, (I personally feel this shows us from Joseph's perspective):

This is how the birth of Jesus came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

All of this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel " - which means,  "God is with us."

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

And Luke 1:26-38, (which I personally feel gives more of Mary's perspective):

In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her. "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."

"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"

The angel answered. "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth, your relative, is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God." (Elizabeth was pregnant with John the Baptist, who paved the way for Jesus. Luke 1:5-25).

"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered, "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.

Now on to the actual birth of Jesus & the story of the shepherds in Luke 2:1-20:

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him, and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in clothes and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
 
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem  and see this thing which has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. (As a mother, that part makes me cry...)

The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

And finally, back to Matthew 2:1-23 for the story of the wise men:

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."

When King Herod heard this, he was disturbed, and all of Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written: 'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'"

Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."

After they heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it was stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshipped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.  And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country another route.

When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him."

So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Out of Egypt I called my son."

When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled: "A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more."

After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream in Egypt and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child's life are dead."

So he got up, took the child and his mother and went into the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets: "He will be called a Nazarene."


Ok, well I know that was quite long, but I hope you enjoyed it and garnered some faith and understanding of the birth of Jesus. If you're so inclined I encourage you to keep reading where I left off, because there is so much more and the Gospels are simply amazing! Merry Christmas!!


"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night."
Photograph By: Me

12.16.2013

Spreading Christmas Cheer

Spreading Christmas Cheer

Christmastime makes six year old Danny Denkins's parents happy. His parents speak of "getting pissed at the party." Danny loves spreading Christmas cheer, so he unzips his trousers and pees in the punch.

Nun puppets for your viewing pleasure.
Picture by: Me
Weird Puppets by: Some tv station I stumbled upon


Trifecta Writing Challenge LINK UP!

12.12.2013

On Forgetting What It's Like.

I think that once you've been a parent for a while - in our case 18 years now - you forget how it is to be a kid.

When I first met my husband, he himself was a kid: 18 years old with long hair, tattoos, and tight jeans that showcased a perfectly sculpted ass. I met him at a place where all of us crazies partied... The Crack Shack. Back then he was known as being a real badass trouble making beer swilling mother fucker. ((side note: He didn't seem the least bit interested in me. I punched him in the gut for his lack of interest, he laughed at my pitiful slugging attempt, and I was on my way to the next hot guy.))

The second time I met him, he was 21 with long hair, tattoos, and the same fabulous ass. This time he lived in the ghetto, on a street called Beaver Lane. I'm fairly certain that he only moved there because of the name of the street, because at that time he was interested in about three things: getting drunk, getting rowdy, and getting randy. So it's probably NO surprise that was still known as being a real badass trouble making beer swilling mother fucker. ((side note: He was definitely interested in me the second time. Haha I win.))

Anyway, since that time he's done something of a 180. Gone is the long hair, and the tattoos have faded somewhat - (although thankfully he's still got a killer ass). He's traded drunken brawls and one night stands for quiet nights filled with HGTV and the love of the best wife ever. In the years since I first met him he seems to have forgotten how it feels to be 18. In many ways he's become his father now, unable to recall the many important milestones of a typical 18 year old. And make no mistake, 18 is still very much a kid.

So when our oldest asked one of us to take him to his see his favorite band for his first concert, (no he's not driving yet, sue me), my hubby grumbled & grumbled about how unimportant a stupid concert is. He didn't want to take him for a plethora of reasons, all which were more than valid:

1. He's tired and needs rest.
2. He just can't hang like he used to.
3. He just wants to relax after a long week at work AND school.
4. He's so.fucking.tired.
5. Concerts are just not that important in the scheme of life.
6. #%$& damnit he's TIRED!!

However, I took the last kid and it was his turn. So after grumbling a little more, he took him.

****Music is a funny thing. It gets the blood going and stirs up your soul. It's able to connect people from all walks of life... even people from different generations.****

When my hubby and sons got back later that evening, he thanked me so many times for pushing him to go. Not only did he get to bond with his boys - he got to step in their shoes for a night and remember how it feels to be young... AND the importance of a good fucking concert.

I think it's really important that we parents take the time to indulge in these moments so that we don't forget, so that we never lose touch: Play pretend with them when they're little, do their silly projects with them when they're young, make an effort to know their interests and get involved with them no matter how trivial it seems to you... Go to concerts with them as they get older. Soon they too will be adults and that time will have passed you all by. Enjoy it while you're able.

My brother's old band... He's old now too.
Shoot the Blitz art stuff by him.

SUPER DUPER INCREDIBLE PS. Hubby even pulled a "me" and made our oldest's first concert one he'll remember forever: Hubby muscled his way to the front of the stage and yelled to the lead singer, "Hey Fat Mike, come sign my kids shirt, it's his first show!!!" over and over and over until security threatened to kick him out (there's the rowdy guy I met!) .... BUT also until the lead singer for Nofx came over and signed our son's tshirt. Oh, and Fat Mike even stuck around for a minute and chatted with him about his first show. As my son so eloquently put it, it was freaking awesome!



12.11.2013

Selfies & Hand Shakes & Scandals... Oh My!

I generally don't put my political views out into the cyber world because it starts  the most ridiculous  arguments. I think I've only blogged on the subject of politics once and it was to ask people of all affiliations to stop being fucktards.

I don't consider myself a flaming liberal or a stick-in-the-ass conservative. I like to think I'm somewhere in the middle... aka I try to use common sense. My thoughts on heavy issues run the gamut from pretty conservative to pretty liberal. But one thing I absolutely can not stand is when folks disrespect and try to tear down the leader of our nation over  absolute nonsense. I can't stand it being done when our leader is a republican and I can't stand it being done when our leader is a democrat. Black, white, man, woman, elephant, donkey, whatever.... I just hate it period. It gets on my fucking nerves.

Which brings me to Nelson Mandela's memorial service. Obama done went and took a selfie and, according to the news headlines, he shook hands with Adolf Hitler.

Now, if you've ever been to a not-white-people funeral - I'll use the glorious Puerto Ricans as an example - then you know that there are going to be cameras everywhere. Everywhere. Birthdays, weddings, any holiday, impromptu get-togethers, and yes even at funerals... As in "Hey third prima twice removed, Great-great Titi is dead, but I ain't seen you since you was two years old, so lets snap a pic!" or "Hey uncle, I haven't seen you since last week, so let's snap a pic!" or "Hey I never get to dress up and look good, so I'm gonna snap a pic!" In fact have a wonderful family photo of my mom, brother, and all our kids... at my Grandfathers funeral... in the cemetery. It's just what we do.

So you see, just because you personally don't do it doesn't mean it's bad and horrible to take pictures at a funeral. Plus, you know, it wasn't even a funeral. And also there's much bigger stories to report on... Like this.

Now, if you've ever been to a white-folks funeral - I'll use the glorious Southerners as an example - then you know that you shake a hand and/or kiss a damn cheek when it's presented to you, whether you love them or want to claw their freaking eyeballs out. Of course afterward it's ok to very quietly mumble under your breath for them to go fuck themselves, bless their heart. And if by chance they heard your mumbling and ask what was said you use your best sugar-coated voice and tell them "I was just reminiscing about poor Aunt Fannie, bless her heart." and politely dab away tears. But we shake their damn-blasted hand regardless, because that's just how we were raised.

So you see, just because you personally don't do it doesn't mean it's bad and horrible to shake an enemies hand at a funeral. Plus the guy wasn't Adolf Hitler, even though the media is making that comparison. And also there's much bigger stories to report on... Like this.

There you have it. Who gives a shit. Different strokes for different folks and all that jazz. Our media and politically minded friends need to start talking about the important stories out there, and then maybe work to resolve them, instead of trying to stir up a pot full of useless crap.

As you can see, I'm a big supporter of the selfie.
Flippa for Selfies 2016!
Selfies By: MySelfie

12.07.2013

Walking in a Winter... Wonderland?

Have you ever had an Alice in Wonderland moment? You know, where a window in your mind suddenly slams open and through it you see your reality turned upside-down, in a completely different way. Where the narrative in your mind is spoken instead of thought, and you can hear the words your brain speaks as clearly as the words you speak aloud... where the imagery is a real as the world in front of your eyes... only none of it is perceived through your eyes or ears at all. It's in your head.

Sometimes I feel alone in that way, and I wonder, when I enter this Wonderland of vivid thought, if maybe it was too many youthful evenings spent with hallucinogenics, or maybe some of the bad things really did take their toll, or maybe the doctors were right all along and I'm just plain crazy.

It used to be, that for a little while there, I was taken down terrifying rabbit holes. My thoughts spun out of control and I spiraled into agonizing madness, only to emerge months later as if it were all a terrible, hazy dream.

But for a long while now these Wonderland moments are filled with clarity, or in the very least they add clarity to a murky situation... even when I've not even realized the situation was murky in the first place. It's almost like angels have kissed my thoughts instead of demons running amuck in there. 

At any rate, today I had one of those moments...

As I read over an email - which was sent to me by a person who is trying to assist me with a project - I began to get irritated at them for taking up my valuable time, expecting answers back quickly as if I have all the time in the world. Time?! I have no time! I have three kids. And a husband. And 4 needy animals. I clean and I cook and I drive... I basically live in my car. I need to install a shower and microwave in the damn thing because I'm in it so much, maybe even a nice fluffy bed to nap in... I have NO time! What does this person expect from me??

Time
Time
Time

A window slammed open (this particular one white with light blue flowered curtains) and the narrative began: "Silly girl," it asked in a distinctly English schoolmarm drawl, "just WHY are you being so unappreciative? Aren't YOU the one who asked for assistance in the first place?" 

Oh my.
It was right!

And just like that the window closed and blinked into nothingness and I was left alone with that thought.

I guess sometimes being a tad of kilter isn't such a bad thing after all.

Photo & MUAH By: Muah
 
"Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here."
 ~ Lewis Carroll ~

12.01.2013

I'm Asking a Favor...

Dear Readers I Hope I Have,

I've never asked anything like this before, but I would love your help in a contest!! I have 'designed' - (I use that term very loosely) - two corsets for a contest through Jupiter Moon 3.  She's a custom corset maker and is running an incredible contest on Facebook. If I get the most votes for either of my designs I WIN THAT DESIGN!

Just click on **this link** to go to the Facebook voting page and hit "LIKE" on my designs (design by: Flippa Bird- it's the 8th one & the 28th one I do believe). I thank you so much for helping me to win my dream corset!!

Mucho Love,
Flippa

Please Help Me Win!
 My Dream Corsets!
Copyright Flippa Bird 2013
 
Please Help Me Win!
 My Dream Corsets!
Copyright Flippa Bird 2013