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Human, Woman, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend & Aspiring Unicorn Breeder

5.05.2014

Post Office Rebel

Today I had to venture to the post office to mail a couple of things. I got there exactly 6 minutes too early, so I did what anyone in that situation would do: I stood at the closed-sign barrier, ignored attempts at small talk with strangers, and played Candy Crush.

At any rate, when they finally opened, exactly 1 minute late, I went up to the counter. While I stood there, waiting for the postal worker to fix the machine that had broken on it's first transaction of the day, I listened to the goings-on around me.

Two counters down from me stood a little old man in a fishing cap, powder blue old-man shorts, and mismatched knee socks... one black, one white, and both different lengths. He was trying to figure out how to mail something overnight without having to pay the $19.20 to overnight it. 

Meanwhile my postal worker fixed the machine and was ringing me up and trying to convince me I needed extras like insurance and tracking. "No, no, no", I said, "just mail it as cheap as humanly possible please." 

I glanced back over and saw that the old man in the powder blue shorts and mismatched knee socks had finally accepted his package's fate: it would get to it's destination in 2 days, but for much less than $19.20. 

And now he needed 6 change of address forms. 

"I'm sorry," his postal worker replied somewhat crankily, because apparently postal workers are even cranky first thing in the morning, "we can only give you 3 here. You have to do the rest online."

The poor little old man looked crestfallen. 

I just gawked. 

Now how the hell is he going to know what to do online!? He can't even get his socks straight and old girl was trying to tell him to go online? He probably doesn't even know what "online" is.

He took his 3 change of address forms and headed out the door, somewhat confused, no doubt, as to what had just happened.

So as I was paying my postal tab, the devious law breaking rebel of my youth popped it's cute little head out and asked, "Oh by the way, can I get 3 changes of address forms?"

I chased down the little old man with his powder blue shorts and mismatched socks, my arms waving wildly and generally looking like a nut-case. He looked a little frightened until I said, "Hey did you need 3 more change of address forms??"

His eyes, I swear it, they lit up like a god damned Christmas tree! 

He's smiled at me and with his giant grin simply said, "Thank you."

Turns out he was parked right next to me. I got into my car to leave and as I turned my head around to back out of my parking space, our eyes met. He smiled and blew me a kiss.

It feels good to break the rules. 

Take that, stupid post office! 
Wesley Jenkins pic by: Me