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Human, Woman, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend & Aspiring Unicorn Breeder

6.11.2014

Old Dogs, New Tricks!

My mom made me super proud of her the other day. 

Her generation grew up with all kinds of prejudice. If you weren't the 'right' color, you were shunned. If you weren't the 'right' gender, you were shunned. If you spoke a different language, you were shunned. If you dressed different, you we're shunned. In short, if you weren't a cracker-white, upper-crust person with the right job and family then you were seen as lesser than by 'polite' society. 

((Basically I woulda been screwed on BOTH sides of my family back in those days thanks to my dirt-poor-white-country-family & my brownish-Spanish-speaking-Rican-family. HA!)) 

Moving on, as I digress...

Usually I just roll my eyes when older people say stupid things because 1. they weren't taught any better and 2. it's about damn pointless to try and argue with them. You know the old saying, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks." That generally holds true. 

Except when it doesn't hold true...

There is a transgender lady (a biological male who identifies as a woman, in case you're not up to speed on these things) who lives at my moms apartment complex. My mom told me that people shun her. Then she told me she kind of avoided her at first too because she was different....

((at which point I started to lecture her)) 

...but then she told me that she thought to herself, "Well I'm different too in my own ways, so why am I going to avoid her just because she's different?" 

((Oh yes, believe me, my mom is NOT lying. She is in her very own category of different, weird old lady - and I mean that in the nicest possible way, of course. Like mother, like daughter blah blah blah...))

Anyway, then she blew me away when she said, "That's right, I said SHE, not HE because if thats how she relates, then that's how I'll treat her!" And so now my mom goes out of her way to be nice to that lady and chats with her when she sees her. 

See, apparently you can teach old dogs new tricks! I wish more older people were like my sweet little mommy. Really though I wish more people, of all ages, we're like that in general. The world would a much nicer place!  


That one time I looked like a drag queen. And that other time I looked like a pretty girl. Oh, and that time I looked like just boring old me. Except for that time I kinda looked like a boy.
Selfies (you know you love them) By: Me

6.07.2014

#yesallwomen Have Been Just As Bad.

I've been all about the #yesallwomen movement since an incident occurred involving my daughter at her school: a boy grabbed her behind while she was walking down the hall (he tried to play it off as an accident). He taught my daughter something that day: She needs to keep her guard up around all men, at all times because you never know which ones will hurt you.

So I've been thinking a lot about men and their behaviors toward women.

Which got me thinking about women's behaviors toward men. 

Which got me thinking about something horrible I did to a really nice guy when I was 14 & 1/2.

At 14 & 1/2 I just wanted to fit in. I was a complete outcast. The popular kids wanted nothing to do with me. I wasn't smart enough for the nerds. The rebels were cooler than me. I was a nothing. 

There was a boy, my age, who lived across the street from my best friend at the time. He was unlike any of the kids I'd ever seen before: black trench coat, combat boots, weird band tshirts. 

My best friend made fun of him relentlessly. And because she did, so did I. 

One day she came up with a 'hilarious' plan. "I'm going to tell him you like him and get him to ask you out. Then you say yes and go out with him as a joke."

I just wanted to fit in. So I said, "Yes."

One day he very shyly asked me if I really liked him. I said, "Yes."

And then he asked me to be his girlfriend. Once again I said, "Yes."

So I started hanging out with him instead of my friend when I'd visit her, per the plan. And I talked on the phone with him whenever I could, sometimes all night long.

He introduced me to bands I'd never heard of, bands that, to this day I still adore: The Cure & Depeche Mode. 

He'd sing their songs to me over the phone and tell me they made him think of me. 

I started really liking him, but I didn't tell my friend.

Once I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night, stealing my mom's car, and drove the 30 miles to his house where we sat on his front porch and talked. He kissed me there. I kissed him back.

One night, after hours of talking on the phone, told me that he loved me.

I told him that I loved him too. 

It didn't take long for me to mean it, a couple of seconds at most.

I decided the gig was up. So I told my friend I really cared about this boy. She laughed and told me there's no way I could because he was a weirdo and a freak. I told her I didn't care. I walked out of her house towards his because I knew what she was going to do.

And she did. She ran past me outside and right up to him. Oh yes, my luck, he was right outside on his skateboard.

"You know she's only dating you as a joke." she said.

He looked stunned. "What?"

"She's. Only. Dating. You. As. A. Joke." She said again, like he was deaf and slow. "We planned it all out and you fell for it!" She was laughing at him.

"No, no, no wait! I can explain! I can explain! It started as a joke, but I didn't mean it!" I stammered. 

"Was it a joke?" he asked "did you date me as a joke?"

"Yes but.."

I didn't get to finish. Tears ran down his face as he told me he never wanted to see me again. And he didn't. 

I remained friends with that girl for about a year afterward, mostly out of habit, and even though he lived right across the street from her and I was there often, he stayed true to his word... I never saw him again. 

I believe I taught that boy something that day: It's better to hurt her before she hurts you. 

The moral of my story is this: Ladies, we can say we're not responsible for the way we're treated - and yes, many times we're the recipient of unwarranted attacks, be it verbal, sexual, physical. And no, that is NEVER ok. 

But we are no better when we teach men how to treat us by the terrible little games that we play. 

Mothers, do your part by teaching your daughters well so that they may learn from your mistakes.  

Pic of tile wall at a popular theme park who's name I won't mention so they don't sue me by: Me

6.02.2014

Buried Treasures.

I was sorting through our office paperwork today and found a memory my dear husband had tucked away... 



A treasure map, many years old, hand drawn on a wrinkled up piece of brown paper bag. You see the wrinkles were on purpose. Though this map is old, it's not yet ancient... 

Hubby and I took the kids to the beach when our boys were just wee tots and our daughter was a new(ish) baby.... And we had an idea to create a happy memory for our little boys.

My artistic hubby drew the "ancient treasure map" that you see above. I made treasure chests out of little cardboard boxes and decorated them with sparkly emerald green & sapphire blue glitter glue (their colors). We filled them with an assortment of little skeletons, gold (chocolate) coins, colorful Mardi Gras beads, and jewel colored candies. 

I went for a walk alone and hid the boxes up the beach under two pieces of driftwood I assembled into an "X." While I was gone hubby and the boys "discovered" a map half buried in the sand where we had set up for the day. 

They were SO amazed that they had found an actual treasure map! When I got back from my walk they were all giggles and excited screeches! I was very surprised at their luck, of course, and we all took off carefully following the directions on the map.

14 paces to the east... 9 paces to the north! Now 27 paces in a circle...  and 20 paces north once more! Onward, ho!!

It was all terribly exciting! 

Yes, they were SO amazed they had found an actual treasure map, and BETTER STILL that it lead them to two treasure chests filled with REAL TREASURE!!! 

More than anything else it was their favorite part of the entire vacation and all they talked about for a long while. 

Vacations are fun. They're even more fun when you go out of your way to make those memories SO spectacular that even 13 & 1/2 years later a wrinkled up old piece of brown paper bag gives you a grin that lasts all day. 

6.01.2014

Fairy Tales & Such.


Once upon a time, many, many moons ago, there lived a lovely little peasant girl with her mother, father, and brother. There were happy times, but mostly sad as the father was a harsh man. He ranted and raved about this and about that until finally, one day he vanquished the poor mother to the wilderness, leaving the peasant girl to bear the brunt of his anger.

The reason for the poor mothers swift departure was mainly due to the arrival a new wife and children for the father, (which meant a new step-mother, step-sister, and step-brother for the peasant girl and her young brother).

Things got much worse for the young girl. And worse and worse... and worse. Every night in the silence of her room, her tears flowed as freely as a great river, sluicing through the pain of her existence.

She wanted to die most of the time. 

But then... one fine day she caught wind of a great Spring Ball to be held for all of the young ladies & lads of the land! Her spirits immediately brightened and she began dreaming of beautiful gowns and soft shoes and sparkling jewelry and flowery ribbons for her hair! If only for one night she would be happy and free!

Sadly, those dreams were not to be. 

"Oh yes, you may attend the Spring Ball," her father began, "but your mother will have to pay for your clothes."
 
The poor little peasant girl let out a sigh, though not one so audible as to bring another beating. You see her father hoarded money and things, but she knew not to press him. "Yes sir." she said.
 
The girl knew her mother had no money, and no way to get money, for the kind of fine clothes needed for a ball, but she asked anyway. 
 
"I have nothing, but I will give you everything I have" the exiled mother told her. So she took her daughter to the clothier and, using the money she had put away for food, bought her daughter the plainest dress of black and green and a pair of their simplest black shoes. 
 
The girl thanked her mother, while crying inside. She knew she would stand out, and not even remotely in a good way. She cried for that... and for feeling so ungrateful.
 
When the evening of the Spring Ball arrived she entered the Great Hall of Education, (where the ball was held), with tears on the verge of spilling. Every girl, except her, was clothed in beautiful dresses and gowns in all the latest colors and styles - dresses fit for young princesses! 

The peasant girl felt like running away.
 
However, (and the peasant girl had not known this), she had a Fairy Godmother who had been watching her all year long. 
 
The Fairy Godmother approached the girl and asked kindly, "You look so sad, is it because of the dress you are wearing?"
 
"Yes," the peasant girl sniffled, "I don't fit in at all."
 
"Would you like a different dress?" the Fairy Godmother asked.
 
The girl thought about this and wondered if this was just another grownup being cruel. But she could not stop her answer from springing forth, "Yes! Please!" 
 
The Fairy Godmother smiled and whisked the peasant girl away in her coach. She took her to a grand castle and lead her up a magnificent spiral staircase to an elegantly appointed room. 
 
"I have many gowns," the fairy said, "you may choose whichever one you wish!" 
 
The girl eyed the chest containing the many gowns, finally choosing one in a pink satin the color of a new rosebud. There were no glass slippers matching the size of her feet, but she didn't care - she was filled with too much happiness! She was wearing a gown, a real gown!
 
The Fairy Godmother then coifed the girl’s hair and beautified her face before bringing her back to the ball.
 
Before entering the great building for the second time that evening, the peasant girl made a vow to herself: "One day I will be a Queen. And when that day comes and I have a daughter I will make sure that she never endures what I've endured. She will always be the most beautifully dressed girl at every ball in every kingdom all of the time!" With that thought she stepped inside and had a wonderfully magical night. 
 
After the Spring Ball life went back to normal for the peasant girl. She was slighted and abused once more. And when it came time for her step-sister to attend a Spring Ball, the peasant girls father and step-mother bought her a frilly white gown. It stung the peasant girls heart, but she no longer cared as much, for she had had her moment and she was plotting her escape.

The little peasant girl did eventually get away. Her beauty grew, first outwardly and then inwardly, and she became a Queen. Not because she married a handsome Prince Charming (which she did), but because she willed it to be. After much prayer she also had a daughter.
 
Now the daughter eclipsed her mother the Queen in beauty, charm, and talent, and for this the Queen was very happy.
 
The daughter, the most beautiful princess in the land, grew from an angelic baby into a sophisticated young lady who came home one day and said, "Sweet Mommy, please help me, I need a gown for the Spring Ball!"
 
The Queen had waited patiently for this day to come.
 
There was nothing she wouldn't do for her princess! So she flew into the moonlight and cut cloth from night sky for her daughter’s gown. While she was there she snatched stars from their constellations for her daughter’s jewelry.

The following day she plucked the whitest of white roses from enchanted gardens and collected sparkling dew drops from their leaves for her daughter’s hair. 

She paid visit to the fairies and had shoes of diamond crafted for her daughter. The fairies promised to kiss the face of her daughter on the night of the ball to bring a sweet blush to her face and a curl to her hair. 

Finally, after months of preparation, the evening of the Spring Ball arrived! 

The Queen assisted the young Princess into all of her finery. The Queen had spared nothing. Like her mother before her she gave her daughter everything she had.... and it showed.

The Princess radiated beauty, poise, and grace. 
 
The Queen fought back tears as she loaded her princess into the coach and whisked her away from their castle to the Spring Ball.  
 
That evening the Queens daughter was the most exquisitely dressed princess at the ball! She walked into the Great Hall of Education with her head held high... and all eyes turned to gaze at her; all mouths spoke of nothing but her beauty and grace.
 
When the Princess arrived home from the ball she and the Queen swapped tales of handsome young princes and silly dances. And when the Princess said, "Sweet Mommy, thank you so much for everything you have done to make my night so special" a scar marking a place deep in the Queens heart, a place she hadn't even realized was still there, suddenly healed and she felt lighter inside. 
 
"You're welcome, princess. Anything for you."  
 
The End (until prom...) 

Happily Ever After is a real thing, ya know.
Pic by: Me (of my princess)