My photo
Human, Woman, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend & Aspiring Unicorn Breeder


My Beauty Secrets... Since Ya' Asked.

I rarely go out in public, around other humans, unless I absolutely have to. I'm one of those weird introverted extroverts... But each time I do venture out into the world the same thing inevitably happens: People think I'm my middle sons girlfriend (he's 17) , or that I'm my oldest sons sister (he's 19) ... Once my husbands coworker mistook me for his daughter (my husband is a young looking 40). 

People completely spaz when they learn I have almost grown children. They spaz yet again when I tell then my age (40).

Last night I went out and had so much sunshine blown up my ass that I'm still beaming this morning. I met a cool couple and got to chatting with them. The husband thought I was in my mid 20's and the wife swore there's no way I could be older than 30. The husband told me I need to take a picture of my face, put it on the cover of a book, and sell my "beauty secrets." He swore I would be a millionaire.

I'm always asked that, "What's your secret."

My "secrets" wouldn't fill up a book, plus they're not really secrets, so today I'm going to share what I think has helped me to remain so youthful looking. It may or may not work, it's just the things I believe I've done correctly over the years.

That's the caveat... Years. This has been a years long process. But I'll share it anyway. 

Step One:
When I was a teenager one of my aunts told me that if I wanted to remain wrinkle-free when I was older I should avoid the sun. 

This aunt is now 60 and doesn't look a day past 40. But even way back then as a teenager I noticed how different she looked from other women her age. So I took her advice. Being one of the weird gothy kids it was easy to do.

So while most everyone else my age was bathing in crisco & iodine and baking in the sun, I avoided it like the plague and slathered on the highest SPF I could buy. I still partied and drank and smoked and ate terribly, but I avoided the sun. And I believe that's the biggest reason why my skin is the way it is today. 

So even though it's not possible to go back in time and stop yourself from tanning, start today by covering yourself when you go outside. And always, always, always put an SPF on your face. Always. I'm serious.. SPfuckingF. Do it.

Step Two:
That same aunt also said that in addition to avoiding the sun, you must moisturize. Now I didn't really listen to her at 14. But once I hit my 20's and started noticing other chicks my age developing wrinkles, those words came back to me. 

And so I started moisturizing.

I truly believe that it doesn't matter if you use a $5 face cream or a $500 face cream. In fact I just use straight up oil on my face: coconut oil, argan oil, olive oil, marula oil... basically whatever oil I have on hand (cooking or otherwise) I will rub it all over my face, neck, and boobs.

Again, since time travel is impossible you're not going to be able to undo damage, but you can prevent it from continuing. So lube up!

Step Three:
Drink lots of water. I love water. It's my favorite drink. It keeps you hydrated and helps your cells to regenerate or something. So drink it. Lots of it!! 

Step Four: 
Don't get too thin. Fat in the face plumps up the skin, helping to conceal wrinkles. It's true!

Women pay tons of money to have fillers injected into their face to basically mimic the effects of fat under the skin. 

Look at a photo of 40 or 50 year old celebrity... and then go back and look at a younger photo of them. They may have still been thin but you'll notice that they probably had a "baby face."

When we're younger we hold onto fat in our faces, giving us a youthful appearance. Fat baby skin is one of the softest, smoothest things in the universe.

Well I've stayed fat and am predisposed to having a chubbier face (even when I'm thinner). So that has helped immensely in the aging process. I'm not suggesting anyone becoming overweight like myself, but I am saying it's part of the reason my face is so smooth. 

Step Five: 
Genetics. Hope you got good ones. That's all I can say about that. 

Step Six:
Get good sleep every night. Sometimes I suffer from bouts of insomnia, but for the most part I've always been a good, heavy sleeper. I require at least 9 hours of sleep every night - (I don't mean I like to get that, I mean if I don't have at least 9 hours I'm a stark raving loopy lunatic). So I've made sure to always get my beauty rest. 

Our bodies regenerate while we sleep, so if you're not getting sufficient rest, you're not healing from the stresses (physical & mental) of the day. 

Now, I have my naysayers... One of my cousins thinks I get Botox all the time because I had it done once... and that my aging well is not because of the reasons listed above. But I stand by what I said. 

So, for the record, I must admit that I had Botox injected into my face one time a couple of years ago. I've had a few professional facials in my life (and by a few I mean 4, tops). I've also had microdermabrasion and a light chemical peel, both done once and at the same time as the Botox. But I'm also a former pack a day smoker for over 15 years, I drank heavily and partied pretty much daily as a teenager (albeit it with natural substances). I don't work out regularly and I eat way too much, but not processed food. But I rarely drink nowadays. Oh, and as horrible as this is to admit I will still occasionally smoke a cigarette (in social situations... though I'm not very social). 

So one more time: Minimal sun. Moisturize. Drink lots of water. Add a little weight to your frame. Have good genes. Get enough sleep. 

Well, that's it. Those are my beauty secrets. And this is my 40 year old face with no makeup, no filters, and a shitty front facing cell phone camera.... (so if you blow it up I'm sure you'll see every single imperfection). But I think I'm still pretty ok for an old gal. 

If you have any beauty secrets, feel free to pass them along to me! I love learning new tricks.


  1. My mother gave me similar advice, not potions and tricks just soap and water... #keepitsimple :)

    1. Your mother is correct! No need for fancy creams of you take care of yourself simply!

  2. OMG! Are you sure you aren't my soul sista? I've been following you for a while on Instagram. Just started catching up on your blog thru Feedly. I'm reading them backwards (recent first). You and I are so much alike. I too am an introverted extrovert. Never heard it said that way until you just said it but that explains so much! I'm 44 but people think I'm 28 all the time. Maybe it is my plumpness! ;-) As a freckly redhead I have to wear sunscreen all the time!

    1. Haha we might just be... I think there are more of us introverted extroverts than lets on lol! Agreed that sunscreen is a must! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog!! :)